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I’ve been asking myself the same question lately, what’s my value?

In my previous posts I talk about work, school, work, work, sorority, school & sometimes the random activity of the day. But in all of those days, I constantly think of the same thing.

After a horrible long day at the coffee shop I came home, took a boiling hot shower, poured myself a glass of wine and turned on the TV. Ahh it’s Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory ( the original). Finally after a long day, there it is, that reputable warm smile spreads across my face as if I’m eating chicken soup on a icy day. Luckily I turn on the movie in the beginning of the movie where the candy man is singing his song. All of the kids are excited eating their free candy while the screen moves to Charlie looking in through a window. I feel for Charlie; looking at everybody getting what they want while he’s the one working. The killer part is, he’s humble about it. “It’s pay day sir,” he humbly says. What does he do with it? He gives it to his family; happily.

I look around to the people who surround me and see their lives compared to mine ( my mom says to never compare… but that’s difficult when the world is constantly comparing you to the next Jane Doe). My roommate, a wonderful warm-hearted person, portrays herself as a poor hard-working individual who always seems to struggle financially with loans and the guilt she has for her ‘poor single mom.’  But then, however, she goes out and buys a 2012 Hyundai one weekend, Michael Kohrs purse, and decides to take a spontaneous trip to Vegas the following week. “Can’t take money with you when you go!”  or my ultimate favorite “I plan on having this car for about, oh, three years.”

>.> poor my ass. Did she win the lottery I didn’t know about?  (wtf)

While she packs for Vegas ( weeeeeee) I was getting ready for my 10 hour shift today. My co-worker called in sick, I was alone for 4 hours, and people in general expect others to kiss the ground they walk on. Why? Because in their every day life they serve others and when they buy their cup of coffee they would like somebody to serve them happily; I agree. But there’s a fine line between that sentence and being flat out rude to someone.

“Charlie, there are 100 billion people in this world and only 5 will find golden tickets. Even if you had a sack of money you probably wouldn’t find one. And after this contest is over you will be no different than any of them.”

“But I am different. I want it more than any of them.”

“Charlie, you’ll catch your chance. One day things will change.”

“When? When will they change?”

“Probably when you least expect it.”

To fill you in on what I constantly think about its when will I find a good paying job. When will that day come where everything changes? All of my hard work in the library sitting in front of the computer working on graphic design. Everyday I learn something new. Why do I work 38 hours a week at Market Street and 3-5 hours every day in front of the computer? Because I’m hoping that it will all pay off one day ( pun intended).

Here’s the half-full conclusion: Charlie wins in the end because he never asked for anything and was grateful for not what he didn’t have, but for what he did 🙂