And by that I mean “we”

I’m marrying myself- because I’m awesome. Duh.

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In my previous post I mentioned my brother getting married . *cue Bridal Chorus*

When my mother called me two weeks ago she told me my brother proposed there was a long awkward silent pause on the phone, then laughter, followed by the million dollar question, “WHY?”

She scolded me for being pessimistic. I quickly disregarded the insult claiming I’m a realist. They started dating after she broke up with my brothers good friend ( can you say rebound?) In January. In February, one month later, the happy couple started dating. That’s fine. She’s a great girl and my brother deserves to be happy. Three months later. THREE. Tres. Drei. Trois. Musketeers. Three months later they were engaged.

Deep breath. Its not my life. I dully ask, “have they thought of when they would want to do this wedding?” Not that I sincerely care, I just want to start a conversation that didn’t go on with me saying what I really feel about the irrational decision. “July 28”

She continued talking about how wonderful it is, what they are going to do to plan it, blah, blah, blah, but at that point I officially tuned her out.

There is no right way of a marriage. Sure, it can absolutely work. Many people do it and are happy. But I know my brother. I also know my mother. So why do I feel like I’m stuck in the twilight zone here. I feel like I’m in a clear box yelling they’re all fucking crazy and nobody is hearing me.

This morning my mom approaches me. Whenever she says, “not to be mean…” or ” don’t take this the wrong way…” or my favorite ” Not to be rude…” I always know it won’t be a good conversation.
” … your brother told me he gets embarrassed when you curse around Sami. She is a good Christian girl, Priscilla, and feels uncomfortable when’you talk the way you do. Now I know you were under the influence last night so it sliped out more than usual but he would appreciate it if you would stop the potty mouth.”

I feel like a ticking time bomb. She continued on and on. Meanwhile, I’m asking myself who they hell he thinks he is? Embarrassed by me? She’s a good Christian girl, Priscilla…

I tune in ” … and once KJ said the F word around aunt Pat who was seriously offended…” tune out. Aunt Pat is 76 years old. Sami and my brother are 23. One year older than me.

Tune in  ” ya know, you are typically at college with your friends and talk like that all the time. But when you come here nobody is used to sweet Priscilla talking like that…” tune out- what? I’ve been here for one exact week and I already feel I need to be committed.

FINALLY she stopped talking, waiting for a reaction. I told her “okay.” Simple reply. “That’s it?”

“Pretty much. No comment. I’m keeping my opinions to myself.” She’s looking for strife. Just so you know- Mrs-I’m-too-holy-for-your-potty-mouth.

To conclude, she said I needed to be nice. I told her this is nice if she doesn’t like it then too bad. Got up and walked away.

Ticking time bomb.

Tick. tick. tick.

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